I'm back!

Internet access has reached Dollar! You just don't realise how much you rely on it until you have to do without. Although I don't think I'm as bad as Al who worked himself up into a frenzy trying to figure out how he would find out what time the bus went in to Alloa: with no access at the cottage he's have to go to an internet cafe. But the nearest internet cafe was in Alloa. Perhaps he could phone a friend and get them to check the times online for him...I let him sweat for a little before pointing out that he was standing next to a bus stop with the timetable printed on it.

Sooo...

Apparently my last blog was on 27 April when I ran 20 miles and all was well in world of running. Ha! I should have known that wouldn't last. There followed a week of absolutely no running that I can recall at all. I think I was manically busy at work and also moaning about and dreading my 22 mile race. Came very close to not bothering to do it at all, but I couldn't face the thought of explaining to everyone at my birthday party that I'd bottled it so I dragged myself off.

It actually went rather well. It started with a leg massage from Fi and a rousing send-off from Helen, Colin, Mo and Hils - I was frankly astounded that they'd bothered to get out of bed for what I was considering to be a training run, and yet more touched when they showed up half way round and then at the end as well. Conditions were good: cool and a little wind but nothing major. Shit, it's a long way, though. To the power station, which had been my 10 mile half way mark the week before, was only 9 miles from Meadowbank, so I still had 13 to go. A long slog up the hill to Gullane and a short slog up a hill to some other little village just before North Berwick. Most of it escapes me except the bit where I nearly just stopped and asked the nearest marshal to drive me to the end (Gullane - but then I had to keep going because a car full of cheeseboarders was cheering me on) and the final two miles which were much aided by the knowledge that it was nearly over.

According to the garmin it was 21.84 miles in 3 hours 7 mins and 47 secs. Average pace 8.35 miles. This is much pretty good. Though it would still mean running a last 4.2 miles in 37 minutes to make under 3.45, which I'm fairly sure is impossible. I was doing 11 minute miles at the end and had means of going any faster.

But I was pretty much on track and looking forward to almost certainly getting a PB at the Dunfermline half the next Saturday.

There was an intervening period to celebrate my birthday, which was done in great style. Luckily everyone was kind enough to bog off and left me alone for my much needed post-long-run nap which set me up in great style for an evening of drinking and chatting at my party. It was lovely: like going to a party where you know and like everyone. Which, in fact, it was. The girls had decorated the bar with fantastic 'wanted' posters and everyone dressed up, which was much appreciated. Nothing worse than a themed party where no one makes an effort. And various friends who hadn't met before intermingled happily, which is always nice.

And I got lots of fabulous presents! I won't bore you with them but suffice to say I spent all night and most of the next day telling people what fantastic taste my friends have and what tasteful presents I'd received.

A much needed and relaxing spa day was Sunday's treat, with plenty of gossip with the girls, playing with bubbles and a massage and scrub that left us zombiefied (in a good way). Finished off with a meal at a great gastro pub.

Sadly I was starting to feel a bit queasy at this point. I was cheered by arriving back at the cottage to yet more tasteful presents cunningly arranged by the generous (and sneaky) Fi and Ailsa in my absence - I was truly being spoiled! And had a peaceful walk in the hills in gorgeous sunshine with Al.

But most of the next week was spent holding the fort at work through various non-emergencies and near-emergencies that meant I pretty much had to be in, then coming home and going straight to bed. On the plus side, I'd been meaning to register with a doctor in Dollar so I got around to doing that and got an appointment on Friday. It's fair to say I was pretty desperate at this point. The doc was very nice and told me I probably had gastroenteritis (sp?), but did not offer the instant cure I was looking for. Instead I was told to go home, rest, drink lots of liquid and not run a half marathon that weekend. Which is what I had been doing anyway. What's the point of doctors if they can't hand you a magic pill that makes you feel better?

So that was the half marathon out, and with it my final indicator of what the hell sort of time I might expect in the Big One. Which brings me up to date, more or less.

I finally felt 100% again on Sunday, when I went to a really enjoyable concert with Al - the Waifs, who I last saw live at the Byron Bay Blues Festival, were playing at the Queens Hall, of all places. It was great! The audience was a real mix of Aussies, young hippies and older non-hippies. We were somewhere in the middle. Emily Barker was the singer-songwriter support act who performed with just her and her guitar and had a great voice. Then the Waifs themselves were just really cool: a great mix of folk, rock, country and blues-swing type stuff that's hard to describe but kept it varied and tuneful. I wanted nothing more than to be in the band, they looked like they were having so much fun. And the one woman (Vicky?) was an amazing harmonica player! I have tried to play the harmonica and it's much, much harder than you think. I was jealous.

Also, it sounds spoddy, but it was made all the more enjoyable by the fact that the mixing was good. Queens Hall has quite odd acoustics (when I was buying tickets the guy asked if I'd been before. I said yes. He asked where I wanted to sit. I realised I'd never actually been in the audience before, only played there with the Edinburgh Phil, and had to admit I had no idea. He thought I was stoopid). But the Waifs were set up so you could hear each instrument and vocalist perfectly, from the double bass to the drums to the annoyingly talented keyboard player. Having that balance right was essential.

On Monday I ran the back road to Tilli and back along the railway track, starting with the steep farm hill. Not too fast, didn't time it. Yesterday did the same again but the other way around and without the steep farm hill. Had to wait for some bullocks to cross the road. Both felt fine, but then I was simply plodding along. Bit stiff today, which is hardly a good sign after what should have been two standard mid week runs. The Ruth who did nine and a half Yassos at the gym three weeks ago seems more like three years ago, so remote does that level of achievement feel.

I have absolutely no idea what to expect of the marathon now. In some ways training has been better than last year: certainly more consistent speed work and the 22 miler showed promise. But, like last year, I've missed and essential two weeks' training just before taper point and there's nothing I can do to get that back. Plus, I have come to the conclusion that it is simply not realistic for woman to run a 3.45 marathon on less than five days' training a week. And I am not prepared to sacrifice the rest of my life to the point of sustaining that level of training for three, two or even just one month.

I like running, and I like being fit. But it shouldn't be a chore that you dread, that means you turn down nights out or a glass of wine or that is always dictating your meals and bedtime. This is what I keep telling myself.

I will see how the conditions are on the day. If there's a strong head wind, I'm not going to fight it. If I start well, I'll push for a good time. I'll be disappointed with a non-PB - just as I was last year - but, despite giving it some serious consideration, I'm not going to drop out. Because Ailsa would kill me.

A few more medium runs, maybe a short speed session, and that's me done.

Edinburgh half

Three sessions to blog about so will be quick.

Hill session on Friday after the bad gym day. Was also not great, but then I put up speed, incline and distance so was probably asking for trouble (all only by very little, I hasten to add).

• 6 mins cross trainer, level 12, staying above 10 mets
• 20 mins treadmill at 6.8mph
• Chest press, 12 x 2 on each of two grips, 20 kg
  
• Was supposed to do 40 mins treadmill at 6.2 mph, cross country setting with inclines up to 8.5%. Ended up walking a couple of times on steepest bits but then also added a sprint finish.
• Back weights, 12 x 2 for each of three grips, 20 kg.

Yesterday was the Edinburgh Half Marathon and I got quite excited about it because Fi and Ailsa came down the night before and Ailsa's enthusiasm was infectious! I hadn't received my race pack in the post and had to email the organisers loads of times (they don't answer the phone) to find out if I could still get a timing chip on the day. They kept answering questions I hadn't asked but not telling me about the chip. It was finally confirmed the night before that I could be re-chipped on site, but by then I'd had a nightmare on Friday night that we were late for the start and then we got mixed up in a triathlon and I had to run in my wet suit. Ailsa proceeded to dream on Saturday night that we overslept and missed the start. So we were quite hyped up!

Luckily all went smoothly in the morning, thanks to loyal supporter and driver Fi, who dropped us at the start and met us at the end. The beginning was narrow and crowded, did my first mile in 8.17 - I needed to do 8.15 miles to make my target time of 1.50. Next two miles were worse at around 8.30 each - aargh! I considered giving up and plodding round, treating it as a slow training run. Especially as from mile three we were running into the wind. Then I though 'Fuck that, thee mile markers are probably in the wrong place anyway' and got my head down.

Did a few miles at around 8.05 and got into my pace and started to enjoy it. The wind died off. Had a hairy moment when I thought I was taking ages but I'd missed mile marker 8 - possibly distracted by the stench from the sewage works. Did miles 8 and 9 in 15.45 but pretty sure they were marked wrong as mile 10 took me over 9 minutes. The miles seemed to go much more quickly than usual, maybe because I was busy doing long division and multiplication in my head to work out how many seconds I had left to make up. But by the last three miles I knew I could make it and finished happy and tired in 1.48.25 (chip time).

Not a PB, but good for this stage in my training. I was lying earlier when I said I would be happy with 1.55 - I would in fact have been a grumpy bitch, so it's just as well I did it.

Ailsa also met her aims - plus a PB - with a fantastic time of 2.06.20. She looked fresh as a daisy afterwards, too, and was suitably chuffed. Am now slightly worried that she will beat me in the marathon. Actually, she could well beat Al, which would be great!

We then retreated for showers and burgers, for which we were joined by Barry and Hils, which was lovely. Had a good chat and absolutely stuffed my face with burger and cheesecake, then went home for a nap.

The day finished with the reinforced Leith Pub Quiz Team winning the Cameo quiz! I even contributed a couple of correct answers. Won chocolate and £30 off next time's bar bill. Doesn't get much better than that.

Today, experimented with a 'recovery run' as I was a bit stiff. Went to the gym after work and pottered about, basically. Was lovely (and a bit weird) not to have a set goal for the session. Did about 2.2 miles of mixed walking at a steep gradient and jogging at 2%, 4 mins cross trainer, 3 mins step machine and a mile on the bike. Was unsweaty enough to drive home afterwards for my shower instead of showering straight away at the gym, but felt better for the stretch out.

Tomorrow: speed work (or maybe tempo session, not sure). Need to up my mileage so may join Matt and his friend once a week for an 8 miler once the clocks go forward.

To race or not to race?

Went to see Graham the Physio yesterday. It was a slightly unnerving experience to stand there and be told (in the nicest possible way) that I had flat feet and knobbly knees and couldn't stand up straight!

After some standing on one leg, jumping up and down and Graham doodling on my leg with Biro, the verdict was that my feet were the main problem - falling inwards, they in turn make my knees turn in which irritates the iliotibial band as it passes the knee. Apparently this is not something that can be solved with a bit of a massage: the band is attached to the bone all the way down the thigh so there's not much you can do to loosen it. The solution instead is to correct my posture and knee alignment. Which sounds a lot more like hard work. I've to go back and see their foot specialist, who will probably recommend orthotics. In the meantime, lots of stretching exercises to strengthen bizarre muscles in odd places like the back of my hip, and I've to practise standing on one leg in front of the mirror.

Graham was great, and I thoroughly recommend Caledonian Physiotherapy to anyone near Edinburgh who needs a physio. Even if he did say that he didn't think my tactic of hoping that Al would just get bored half way through the marathon would pay off.

So there's nothing to stop me doing the Alloa half marathon tomorrow except the fact that neither Al nor Colin (whose idea it was and who persuaded me to sign up) have bothered to get a place! A bit disappointing since it won't be much fun to go on my own. Plus my sister is staying and I can't see her enjoying getting up at 6.30 to stand in the cold on her own for 2 hours and watch me. So I may give it a miss. Annoying though, when I have my race number stuck to the fridge all ready to go. And it cost £14! Maybe I will go on my own, just to get my money's worth. Bloody boys - that's the last time I trust them to organise anything.