Where was I? Oh yes, heading back across the Cramond causeway. Well we picked up our bikes and cycled east along the Forth to a spot where we had a challenge of burying one of our rucksacks in the wet sand - mine being nominated as the smallest it survived the experience surprisingly well, though my whistle, which was hanging on the outside, did end up a bit gritty.
Then it was further on to the lighthouse on Shore Road, behind which lurked a ropes and climbing gear warehouse we'd never known about, despite running past there regularly. There was a massive queue for the climbing challenge, the result of our position at the back of the field, and it was moving slowly as only two ropes were set up. The challenge was to climb a climbing wall of about 30 feet - but using ice axes instead of handholds. Lee bravely volunteered and I reassured her that it looked quite straightforward while secretly thinking it looked hideous. We ended up waiting for a hour, and should really have skipped this section to get further round the course. But eventually Lee got to the front and womanfully made it up the wall, despite a couple of hairy moments. You could really see the effort climbers were putting in, with lots of wobbly arms and legs on display.
Next stop was Granton Harbour - or it might have been Newhaven, I'm not sure. Maybe they're the same place. Anyway, the climbing queue had thinned people out so there was no queue for the kayaks and we duly launched two of the plastic beasts. Jo took one alone and promptly steamed off ahead and became a small speck in the distance while Lee and I cruised gently behind, having a discussion about nail polish. I've no idea how far it was, but I think it took us about half an hour of continuous, if not particularly strenuous, paddling. Towards the end, the wind picked up and created some interesting cross waves, so we were glad to be back on the beach, where Jo had already landed, got her trainers back on and persuaded some blokes to carry her kayak back to the pile for her. The fact that the marshalls were loading kayaks back on to their trailers as we left shows how far behind we were now!
We were directed up yet more steps (I was beginning to wish I had borrowed Rachel's folding bike) and back along the coast to Pilton. The previous night I had been amused by the instructions to navigate through Pilton and Muirhouse - some of the less scenic areas of Edinburgh where I'd spent my Telford College days trying to persuade wee schemies to sign up to plumbing courses. Now the idea seemed less amusing as we got lost in the maze of residential streets. The instructions said we weren't to use Muirhouse Parkway or Silverknowles Road - whether to prevent them being congested by hundreds of bikes or because that would make navigation too easy I don't know. In the end, we were directed by some kids who surrounded Jo when we stopped in a slightly unnerving but ultimately friendly fashion. Another couple of blokes pointed us the right way too - so never let it be said that the folk of Muirhouse are not good-hearted. We also cheated a bit and used part of Muirhouse Parkway.
Finally we found our clock in point attached to a lamp post and headed west to Davidson Mains and Corstophine Hill. Thank goodness Jo was navigating here as I blindly followed where she led, able to see little beyond the handlebars of my bike as I pushed it up a series of vertical mud banks. If nothing else, I have to make sure the lower gears are working next year. We also passed another team! Hurrah! They looked even more useless than us! Jo's prowess led us to a particular bench and another clock in point before a steep descent. It was becoming clear that every one line of the nine pages of instructions took about an hour to complete on the ground and we were discussing possibilities for cutting the route short.
But first we had to finish at least the first half of the course. We headed for Ravelston Dykes and joined the same cycle path we'd been on that morning, stopping for me to abseil off a bridge into the Water of Leith. I didn't really get time to think about this and it was only when I screeched (well, swung) to a halt a few feet from a soggy landing that I realised.
'You mean I have to land actually in the water?'
'Yup.'
Well there wasn't much I could do about it by that point so I completed my inelegant descent with a gentle splosh. So much for keeping my trainers dry after the swim. (Incidentally, Jo, a freshwater biologist, informed me afterwards that the River Almond is 75% treated sewage effluent. Nice). My hard-working team mates had again had to carry my bike down to the river for me - I was getting good at choosing challenges that exempted me from hard work. Although the lackadaisical attitude of the marshall had been a little worrying. He'd asked if I'd abseiled before and when I told him not since I was about 13 his instruction consisted of 'Hold on to this rope with your right hand.' Hardly comprehensive.
But we were back on the bikes in one, or rather three, pieces. And from there via Haymarket (yay! the steepest set of steps yet!) back to Princes Street Gardens. There we were asked to deflate and reflate the tyres of one bike - at last! A chance to pump up that back tyre of mine! Jo was shocked at the state of my 'walls' - the sides of my tyres. Apparently you're not supposed to be able to see the stringy stuff.
Finally we were allowed to download all our hard won points and to go to the loo. Not that going to the loo had been forbidden before, we just hadn't really had an opportunity. I also got to change my contact lenses, which were getting a bit dry as I'd worn disposables in case the swimming was in the sea. We had a quick confab about the rest of the course. We'd already passed the cut off time for most of it - even if we'd cycled flat out we would have been turned back at the first challenge. And none of us had been looking forward to cycling up the Pentlands.
So we decided instead to head for the last challenge, which was at Tynecastle Stadium - enemy Hearts territory. Jo was hoping for something football related, but to my relief we were asked first to make our bikes stand up on their own (no problem: I had grown increasingly incensed at my bikes inability to be carried up steps without its front tyre swinging right round and whacking me in the face so I knew that I could turn the wheel perpendicular to the body of the bike and prop Jo's and Lee's on either side). Then two team members were to climb up an inside strut of the stadium and one to abseil down the outside. I gave the others but the briefest of chances to pick the abseil before claiming it as my own. It was quite a dull abseil as the back of the roof was curved so you only needed to walk down.
Then we had a sit down in the car park. We thought about going back to some more challenges (it was about 5pm at this point and we had to be back by 7). But another team revealed that you couldn't collect points for challenges completed out of sequence, and of course we'd just done the last one. So instead we pedalled back to Princes Street where we somewhat embarrassedly ran through the 'event village' to shouts of encouragement from spectators. I felt a bit of a fraud. One final challenge - to score a basketball basket each, which, amazingly, I managed on only my third attempt - and we were done.
We felt surprisingly ok, possibly because we'd missed out about half the course...Saw Graham the Friendly Physio giving massages to competitors and said hello. Lee and I have both seen him with the same penguin-toed problem which causes knee pain. Neither of us had been doing the exercises we were supposed to so we kept him off the subject - instead he professed that he'd like to enter the Rat Race himself next year! The next day I met Colin in Sainsbury's and he suggested getting his brother involved. The more the merrier, for if there are boys teams to compete against each other then it will leave us girls to concentrate on just getting round the whole course - a challenge in itself.
The aftermath? We met up for lunch on Monday and although we were all a bit stiff we also all felt we could have pushed ourselves more. the problem, we decided, was that we didn't like doing things that hurt. The solution would of course be to train much harder so that it didn't hurt as much. Hmm. We shall see.
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